Dan "The Asterisk" Snyder

Every golf trip needs a villain, and Snyder fills the role with absolute, unadulterated dedication. Pushing the upper limits of his waistband while battling blood pressure issues that leave his ankles permanently swollen, Snyder strides onto the tee box in his trademark style: a single, faded teal golf polo. He doesn't love the game; in fact, he openly despises golf and is only here out of pure, contractual obligation. But what he lacks in passion for the sport, he more than makes up for with a heavy intake of IPAs, a notoriously short fuse, and a terrifying tendency to get belligerent the second the alcohol hits his bloodstream.

On the scorecard, Snyder isn't competing against the course—he's locked in a desperate, mind numbing struggle just to break 130 and turn in a legal card. Naturally, his strategy for survival involves a long, rich history of shameless ball swapping, creative accounting, and foot-wedges in the heavy rough. To Snyder, the rules of golf are merely soft suggestions, and if a foot-high kick out of the trees gets him one step closer to carding a 129, he'll do it with a beer in hand and a straight face.

While his golf game is a complete trainwreck, Snyder's primary objective for the entire weekend has nothing to do with making pars. His sole, god-given purpose on the golf course is to wage psychological warfare on Vin Spezia and force him into a complete mental breakdown. Between his blatant cheating and his easily provoked temper, Snyder knows precisely which buttons to push to make Vin's forehead veins look like a road map and get his golf game off the rails. If Snyder can stay upright, avoid a medical event, and successfully ruin Vin’s scorecard before getting kicked off the course, he considers it a winning weekend.