Scott "Round Trip" Weaver

Scott Weaver is a specimen on the golf course—specifically because he is incredibly red, remarkably round, and possesses the drinking tolerance of a college freshman during syllabus week. Watching Scott on a hot July afternoon is a race against the elements: as the sun beats down, his complexion matches his team’s desire for blood, and he begins to black out with spectacular speed. It is a legendary transformation that usually ends with Scott trying to navigate the back nine while seeing double.

But for Scott, the real battle at the White Course isn't against the Thundercunts' opponents—it’s against gravity and his own coordination. He enters 2026 with one singular, desperate goal: to avoid physical injury entirely and somehow make it back home with his head fully intact. After previous years of structural damage, a successful tournament for Scott is defined by a lack of concussions, zero hospital visits, and a skull that remains uncracked.

Yet, beneath the physical liability and the freshman-tier drinking habits, Scott is a certified threat on the scorecard. He is looking to put together another dominant, double-digit round after delivering incredibly strong, steady performances for the Thundercunts over the last two years. If "The Round-Trip" can survive his own balance issues and keep his head out of the danger zone, his reliable game will once again make the TCs nearly impossible to dethroned.