Nick "Squeaky Nick" Vellky

Every friend group has a mastermind of chaos, and Nick—affectionately and accurately known to the boys as "Squeaky Nick"—plays the role to absolute perfection. Nick earned his nickname the old-fashioned way: by whining with the relentless, high-pitched intensity of a toddler until everyone around him finally caves just to make the noise stop. But don't let the childish pouting fool you; Nick is a cold, calculating pot-stirrer. His favorite sport isn't even golf—it’s getting Snyder completely riled up on a cocktail of alcohol and bad ideas, then quietly taking two steps back to fold his arms and watch the resulting fireworks display with a smirk.

When he isn't actively setting fire to the group dynamic, Nick is actually a remarkably solid golfer from tee to green. He strikes the ball well, finds fairways, and puts himself in position to turn in some genuinely impressive scorecards. That is, right up until his foot touches the putting surface. The moment Nick steps onto a green, his composure suffers a catastrophic structural failure, imploding with the sudden, dusty violence of the old Three Rivers Stadium demolition.

That green-side collapse is the sole difference between Nick casually cruising to an 85 or stumbling into a bloated 95 by the time he hits the 18th hole. If he’s having a good day with the flat stick, he’s a legitimate threat on the leaderboard. If the yips take over, expect the squeaking to start around the turn, followed immediately by Nick being a problem the rest of the night.