Dan "Schnidebone" Snyder

Dan Snyder is the living embodiment of chaos, and somehow, we keep letting him show up. He grunts, slurs threats, and communicates mostly through intimidation — if yelling, staggering, or terrifyingly random acts were a sport, he’d have a career Grand Slam. Vegas doesn’t bet on his golf score; they bet on how spectacularly he’ll pass out on the couch after the round, beer still in hand, snoring like a chainsaw, while the rest of the DickTouchers argue over who has to wake him up.

Snyder doesn’t do golf for fun — he does it because he has to, and even then it’s mostly an excuse to unleash mayhem. On the course, he’s notorious for force-feeding drinks to Vinnie Biros, smacking people with golf clubs, and delivering his dreaded “push punch” to anyone unlucky enough to be mid-pee. Ill-tempered, violent, unpredictable, and barely restrained, he’s a living legend of “what could possibly go wrong?” Every tournament is a front-row seat to a walking disaster, and somehow, that’s exactly why everyone loves him.