Vinnie "David Bistro" Biros

Vinnie Biros is a pint-sized hurricane of pure rage, standing 5’3” and somehow carrying a temper that’s even shorter than his legs. Balding, furious, and perpetually ready to explode, he storms across the course like the universe personally owes him par on every hole — and if it doesn’t deliver, heads may roll. Last year he somehow dragged the Thundercunts to victory, but don’t be fooled: that was a fluke of historic proportions. This year, he’s regressed back to his usual level of incompetence, proving that trusting him is like handing a lit match to a toddler in a fireworks store.

Off the course, chaos follows him like a shadow. With Dan Vish about to become his brother-in-law, the clubhouse is guaranteed double the drama, double the shenanigans, and double the minor injuries. His tiny frame, microscopic patience, and colossal anger make him both terrifying and tragically hilarious: a man whose very presence is a constant reminder that sometimes the greatest victories are accidents, and sometimes the universe just enjoys watching him lose his mind.