Nick "Mid Dog" Vellky

Nick “Mid-Dog” Vellky — affectionately known as “Squeaky Nick” for his nonstop, high-pitched bitching about absolutely everything — limped through last year like a man possessed by his own failures, leaving the DTTC in chaos with a soul-crushing 103 that single-handedly cost his team. This year, though, he’s back, actually bombing drives and playing well — and now he’s a legitimate weapon, infinitely more terrifying because no one knows when the Mid-Dog will blow a gasket or quietly sabotage everything around him. He stews on every perceived slight like a maniac, volatile and relentless, always poking buttons and stirring pots just to remind you he exists.

He wants desperately to be the “big dog” of the DickTouchers, but reality checks in the form of his ego, size, and sheer incompetence make that impossible. That’s why he’s the Mid-Dog — all menace, all attitude, none of the bite. He wears ridiculous sweater vests like armor, trying to convince the world he’s “better than you.” And for those keeping track of absurd details, yes — he sports a fleshy tip, because apparently being irritating alone wasn’t enough; he had to make sure everyone knew he’s fully intact.

Mid-Dog isn’t just a teammate; he’s a small, simmering storm of chaos, a constant reminder that being loud, petty, and unpredictable doesn’t require size, skill, or subtlety — just a vest, a grudge, and enough whining to make a drill sergeant question life choices.